The Horrible Mother and Wounded Daughter

Watching my daughter L getting ready to strike out on her own in college has been strange. She is all grown up but has so much more growing to do.......Maybe I have been a little hard on her, wanting her to make those adult decisions and just be totally responsible, focus and efficient. Just getting the packing done already!!! These weeks have been stressful and we have been in a number of fights, more than ever in our lives, more than during college application season. I grumble and yell and she with her stony stare :( Yeh, that is how we fight- one sided fights. Me- the horrible grumpy mommy and L, the angry daughter yelling at the top of her mental lungs! (Oh, what bloody wounds have you inflicted upon me???) Ha, ha....I guess I can be a bit intimidating and at the bottom of her rotten behavior is my sweetest darling daughter.

I know she wants to be spoiled just a little while more. Me? - I look and wonder how is she going to cope when she is on her own? Certainly, not if she procrastinate all the time and thinks that things will just work out.....I see my little girl looking at me and saying "Mommy fix it. Mommy make it better." This time, I will not be there to help to make it work........ That scares me.

I see her rushing around and making and spending time with her friends before she leaves for college. She makes time for her brother, plays guitar hero with him and talks about how much she will miss him and all the milestones in his life. Reminds him to keep her updated all the time. He in turn is always asking where she is, when is she coming home, as she moves like a tornado through our house in her whirlwind of activities. He cooks for her..... He loves her. At least I have that part right- encourage a sibling bond that is beautiful and strong. I know that they will always be there for one another.

How's the daddy? He will miss her too much......but he is stronger than I am. He is sad she is not actually spending time with him but is around him. He is dealing with it. Ha, ha it must be the male bonding advice he got at his class reunion - how to handle child leaving for college. At least he in not enrolled in her college as he has threatened all these years! He laughs when she tells him he is her sugar daddy. He buys her what she needs, what she wants and just spoils her rotten. He wants her to come home every month and for now, she wants to! Ha, ha... we'll see.

Me. I want to be spoiled too. I want my little girl to spend time with me....to want to spend time with me like she has always done so in the past. It hurts when I see her making time for others because it is "my last chance to see them" but not me :( That is the horrible kind of mother I am!!!! It is not letting go. I can but the ridiculous (I hope!) feeling of not being important to her anymore.

I know you need to say your goodbyes because it is "my last chance" and that you will miss me and we will still be close. I need to spoil you more because you need to feel that nothing has changed and Mommy will be here always for you (not the Horrible One but the one with the halo). I need not to worry so much because you are my daughter- you will prevail. You will do what need to be done when the time comes. You have a lots of me and your dad in you (too bad you cannot choose your genes). You are after all, our warrior princess.

But would it hurt you to spend a little more time with you family (me!!!)?? You need to remember being at home in your room does not mean you are spending time with us.

XOXO
The Horrible Grumpy Mommy

PS We cannot fit everything in the trunk

How's does my garden grow?

I know it has been awhile since I blogged about my garden. By no means have I forgotten it although I have neglected it a fair bit. This is an unknown price for college education.....This summer we have been getting ready for daughter L to leave for UC Berkeley. We have so far visit Berkeley twice this year and will be moving her into the dorms in 10 days time!!! These trips and the pace of getting things together with her has taken its toll on my garden. I have not been able to create the bountiful garden I had envisioned in early spring. My kitchen garden in particular has suffered the most. We were away at Calso during the hottest week and that utterly killed my tomato plants. I know, the irony- heat and tomatoes! There was just not enough watering during those critical scorching days. I nursed them back to unproductive living dead status... Today, in an act of tough love, I yanked them out and started again with left over seedlings I started earlier. They are a bit stunted but maybe now that they have been elevated to Kitchen Garden status, they will take off. I can only hope.

This is not to say that I have not worked on my garden at all. I did so in drips and drabs. I did fertilize my trees and they have rewarded me with delicious fruits.This past 2 weeks had me waking up early and taking advantage of the cool mornings to spruce up my garden. The days were killer hot until this week. I also worked the evenings from about 5 pm to close to 9 pm if the children's activities did not interfere with these zen moments.

My rewards? The glorious sweet smelling blooms of the kumquats- heavenly. And now the trees are loaded with little kumquats, a promise of delicious pleasures to come. Three pomelo slowing getting bigger. It took a longer time to adjust to the transplant. It is a fragrant pomelo- cannot remember if it was the `green tea' variety. Sweet, juicy,not pulpy and unlike the flavor you get with market bought pomelo.

The mango tree is doing well with a fair amount of fruit. I am so glad it survive the transplant into the ground last year. It is quite an achievement to get Mango to fruit in our area.

June 29 2009 - flowers set and little mango form.


August 11, 2009 - after fruit drops. Remaining fruits almost palm sized.

Not to be outdone, three new plantings last year are flowering and seem to be setting fruit- the Ciku,the Nona and the Passionfruit. Whoa! Amazing. Just 2 days ago I was rewarded with yet another first in my garden- the Dragon Fruit plant is finally fruiting!! I am so excited.


August 11, 2009- just spotted dragon fruit ! (talk about being busy)


August 15 2009- how the fruits have lengthen!



Nona / Sugar Apple - flowering hopefully some fruit will set before the cold!



Ciku /Sapote flowers

Persimmon- reliable yearly delight!

Passionfruit grown on a arch trellis

Good old faithful Fig tree which we transplanted last year from the pot into the ground has really taken off. The fruits are large, purple and utterly delicious. As you can see from the pictures, the birds think so too!! We have been fighting them for the fruits. They cleverly eat out the fig on one side, leaving it hanging, so from certain angles you think you still have delicious fruits. The figs are the fruit in season now and it is GOOD.


August 11 2009-Figs swelling up to large palm sized and turning deep purple.



We have enjoyed blueberries, blackberries, peaches and now figs. Oh before I forget we did also enjoy the oranges- Valencia and the Navels, the Clementines and lots and lots of Calamasi (limau kasturi). So all is not lost in my garden....:)

Femur and Hip's Wedding

Today was a special day. Femur and Hip tied the knot!! Happy Day! All the Crobots were invited. Cousin Hip was so handsome in his tuxedo.Femur was such a beautiful bride and nice to the bone.

We thought we would have a Martha Stewart Wedding for them. So I made Bo Ssam ( a slow roasted pork shoulder) for the Wedding reception. Been craving it since I saw it being made by Chef David Chang of Momofuku / Ssam bar restaurants. It had been marinating in the fridge since yesterday. Today I roasted it for 3 hours. The house smells absolutely divine!! For the Wedding Cake I made The Cookies and Cream Cheesecake from the Martha Stewart's Cupcake book. So easy, quick and utterly delicious!!


Oreo base and chopped Oreo in cream cheese mixture
30 Delicious Cookies and Cream Cheesecakes

Mechanobot

Squeak, squeak. Hmm, where is that coming from? Late in the night when everyone is asleep but for me and the tv, I hear squeaks and rattles. I ignore it as I am one with the tv and the dvr - watching my current obsession - Top Chef Masters! Come on, admit it you are addicted too. Who am I rooting for?? I started watching on accident. I caught the one with chef Micheal Chiarello, with his winning dessert with basil sorbet. So of course, I am rooting for him. Cooking from the garden is what I love. I have always loved Rick Bayless and the ease he interpretes and promotes Mexican food. Yesterday, for the first time I watch Chef Anita Lo in action and I was blown away!! I love how she thinks as a chef. I so called it that she would put an Asian twist on the lobster cappuccino. These three chefs cook the way I like to cook - emphasis on the ingredients and clean flavors, complex but clean. As usual I digress. Hey, that is why it is my blog. Failing writing 101....

Anyway, it appears that a number of my Crobots have one screw loose. Ha, ha I could not resist this Asian insult!! I do not want to spend my time repairing them for minor afflictions like squeaking and rattling. So, I decided I needed to make Mechanobot. He is handy with pliers,screws, nuts and blots. I figured he could take care of such things while I will take care of broken limbs and lost stuffings. Rustled around and found some hardware to make Mechanobot the very handsome, cute and handy guy he is. He is also very current- notice the use of mixed metal , silver with gold (his antenna).


And now we have 4 CROBOTS!

Dogbot

I finally gave my Crobots their long awaited dog - Dogbot! I had to stop agonizing and accept the ears was going to be what it was!! Besides, I wanted Dogbot to take care of my Crobot kids while we were away at Cal!

Dogbot's ears were supposed to be pointed in the book but it just did not work for me.... he looked more like a Catbot that way...... Hmmm.... maybe he needs a mouth. Ha, ha... then I have buy Dogbot food. What would that be....iron filings, rust????

Left the Crobots and their pet with some snacks . Came home and found them partying. Dogbot was on top of can! House seem to survive the trip intact.




Frasier our Standard Poodle must have been envious of the partying in the house while he was on the patio outside. When I first put Dogbot on the floor, Frasier tried to bite off his head. Ha, ha.. it was only because Frasier is so large and Dogbot is so small. Frasier open his mouth and Dogbot could have fitted in it in one bite.

Lucky for him , his friend George the Labradoodle came to visit. He is getting very suspicious whenever he see a suitcase or any signs of packing going on....He is afraid we will leave him behind again. Poor baby!!

CROBOTS want a pet !!

Zombiebot is doing an excellent job guarding my writing instrument. He keeps me company while I blog and of course while I work on my assignment for the Photo Editing - Frames and effect classes. I have spent more time with him than those I carried within me for 9 months and brought into this world through much labor and pain (which incidentally still continues......).

Babybot is so very cute. We spoil him because he is just a BABY! So far, he sits on top of little basket, on top of the side table, beside my chair in the family room. He watches tv and monitors channel 51 Nevada. He is keeping in touch with the latest in the world. He watched the MJ tribute and I thought I saw a glint in his eyes. He had just finished uploading trivia about the 70s and 80s and knew all about MJ. I think I might have caught him trying the Moonwalk other night, just as I was switching off the lights......

Like with all children, they are always wanting something or the other. Well, that something right now is a pet!! Yes, a pet - I caved. So I am making a Dogbot for them. Dogbot is almost together or is together but I just don't like his ears so I am not giving it to the kids yet. I have to get this right.Hopefully, it is not going to take too long more because I have things to do, places to go........

CROBOTS

Those funky Amigurumi CROBOTS started me crocheting again! They are so adorable - quirky, tough and yet so cuddly- watch out for the screws and bolts!! Where were they when I was big into crochet and making money off my crochet skills? It was after the major Form 3 ( 9th grade) Assessment Exam (Sijil Pernilaian Rendah) Mom taught me how to crochet.

We had all taken the all important and life changing Form 3 assessment which would decide if we were going into the Science or Art stream for the rest of our high school life or horror - be booted out of the public school and have to go to private schools ( the shame). It was the examination that separated the `smarts' (Science stream kids) from the "not so smart'(art stream kids) and the 'poor things' (did not pass- go to private schools).Anyway, I digress.....it seemed like we had eons of time in school after examination and waiting for the results. Mindless days in the classroom without actual lessons. Mom taught me how to crochet and I taught my friends. They fumbled while I thrived. Soon I was making bags, hats, belts you name it for my classmates and making pocket money to boot. Soon I was making tops and dresses and started taking custom orders from the boutiques and craft shops. What I meant to say is I would have much rather be making these adorable CROBOTS!!!
ZOMBIEBOT- is my firstborn Crobot. Is he not cute, rakishly handsome and tough as nails? Dear husband said I should be care and not put in those nails because little children may put them in their mouth! Hah! that is the beauty of this stage of my life- no little children. Love his dangly arms. Zombiebot has a very important job - he stands guard and making sure no one steals my pencils and pens!! I know you are so jealous because you have no one to guard over your stuff.



BABYBOT- is my second child. Did not have the right colors but I could not wait, used whatever I had. I think he is adorable. Fits perfectly in my hand. With his red receivers he received channel 51 Nevada and help keep our planet safe from aliens!!! Now, I just have to find him something at home.......

Come see how Babybot came to be........