Past Animation

Son A's Bald Eagle project for science plus bonus project inside

The clay penguin complete with the snow slide and different balls of clay used for filming its movement frame by frame.

See the rolled up black and white ball representing penguin as rolled off the ice?

The Penguin - the Star!

While making an attempt to "fall clean" my junk/treasures I came across a shoe box that had been used by my son A, for his bald eagle science project. It had information pasted on the side along with a drawing of the bald eagle. It weighed a little heavy so I open it. Lo and behold, it held another glimpse of the past. This time of daughter L. We tend to re purpose stuff a lot in our house.

Inside the box was the penguin that L and her project partner Kimberly made for the Clay Animation class they took in 2003. I know I am great like that! Ha, ha, actually don't know where I saw this name today while rummaging/ cleaning but there was a reference to the class and who L worked with. I searched everywhere but I cannot locate the CD containing the clay animation clips she did in 2003. I have the one from her Video editing class of that year and even the one from brother's clay animation class in 2005. Now the missing animation clip is going to haunt me. I did find a picture in my archive that now has me hunting for another missing item- a clay seal!! Yes, it was story about the seal and the penguin. The seal was not in the box!!! Thank God I had the good sense to take a photograph way back when.

The missing seal! Where could he be hiding or did I already decluttered him away?????

I just want to photograph the projects my children made before they disintegrate or are lost forever, which I hope is not the case here. Plus it is a great way to free up space and declutter. I better get to work then before all I have of those artistic endeavours are my failing memories.

PS. No, it is not all about daughter L. When I figure out how to take son's animation clips off the CD which contained the whole class's project I will blog about it. Regretfully, he does not have his clay animation figurine ( and NO I did not throw it away- he repurpose it almost immediately!)

I pinch you and you pinch me

"I pinch you and you pinch me, okay?" Such were the words I uttered to my daughter L as we prepared to leave her at college. No tears seem to have moistured our eyes, the cold hearted women that we are. "Maybe then we will cry?" Does that mean I love you less? We watched as her roommate and her mom teared up at dinner even before they parted. No tears for us then. Outside her dorm building when we said goodbye, our friends cried again. Still no tears. Maybe, at that point we knew we still had breakfast the next morning.....

The next day, final Au revior. Finally some moisture in daughter's eyes! She regrets lining her eyes before we said Au revior. Did the eyeliner irritate her eyes or was it emotions? Me... dry as a desert. I know, I know.....Her brother- did not want a goodbye hug. She hugs him anyway and he is sad....she is sad. The Father hugs his daughter long and tight. Finally, we hug and kiss each other and tell the other," I love you". Goodbye/ Au revoir.

On the long drive back, brother does a L - sleeps to shutdown unpleasant thoughts. Husband and I talk about the whole experience and wonder how she is doing. We text her and she us. Suddenly, a pebble hits in windshield! A ping and a tiny deep dent. As we try to get a closer view of it, the crack lengthens in front of our eyes! Called insurance company and arrange for replacement windshield. Trip is costing an additional $250 for the deductible! Hidden cost of college!

Even now at home, it is surreal. I guess it will hit me when it it hits me. My baby is gone. The one who would not go to away camp is now far away. Okay, not that far. I guess it is because I am confident my girl will be able to handle most things that come her way. She will know when to ask for help. It is reassuring that she is rooming with her bestfriend and they will take care of each other. It helped that we were able to move her into her dorm and set her up. Her floormates seem nice. I am so happy she has a nice room and an even nicer view! Her dorm overlooks the sports field. While we were there , all day long there were one sport team or another practising. Such healthy living and eye candy for sure!! ha, ha- that can only be a bonus.

Daughter, if you are reading this. I love you even though there are no tears. I am excited for you. I am here for you. I am crying somewhere inside.... really I have to be.

The Horrible Mother and Wounded Daughter

Watching my daughter L getting ready to strike out on her own in college has been strange. She is all grown up but has so much more growing to do.......Maybe I have been a little hard on her, wanting her to make those adult decisions and just be totally responsible, focus and efficient. Just getting the packing done already!!! These weeks have been stressful and we have been in a number of fights, more than ever in our lives, more than during college application season. I grumble and yell and she with her stony stare :( Yeh, that is how we fight- one sided fights. Me- the horrible grumpy mommy and L, the angry daughter yelling at the top of her mental lungs! (Oh, what bloody wounds have you inflicted upon me???) Ha, ha....I guess I can be a bit intimidating and at the bottom of her rotten behavior is my sweetest darling daughter.

I know she wants to be spoiled just a little while more. Me? - I look and wonder how is she going to cope when she is on her own? Certainly, not if she procrastinate all the time and thinks that things will just work out.....I see my little girl looking at me and saying "Mommy fix it. Mommy make it better." This time, I will not be there to help to make it work........ That scares me.

I see her rushing around and making and spending time with her friends before she leaves for college. She makes time for her brother, plays guitar hero with him and talks about how much she will miss him and all the milestones in his life. Reminds him to keep her updated all the time. He in turn is always asking where she is, when is she coming home, as she moves like a tornado through our house in her whirlwind of activities. He cooks for her..... He loves her. At least I have that part right- encourage a sibling bond that is beautiful and strong. I know that they will always be there for one another.

How's the daddy? He will miss her too much......but he is stronger than I am. He is sad she is not actually spending time with him but is around him. He is dealing with it. Ha, ha it must be the male bonding advice he got at his class reunion - how to handle child leaving for college. At least he in not enrolled in her college as he has threatened all these years! He laughs when she tells him he is her sugar daddy. He buys her what she needs, what she wants and just spoils her rotten. He wants her to come home every month and for now, she wants to! Ha, ha... we'll see.

Me. I want to be spoiled too. I want my little girl to spend time with me....to want to spend time with me like she has always done so in the past. It hurts when I see her making time for others because it is "my last chance to see them" but not me :( That is the horrible kind of mother I am!!!! It is not letting go. I can but the ridiculous (I hope!) feeling of not being important to her anymore.

I know you need to say your goodbyes because it is "my last chance" and that you will miss me and we will still be close. I need to spoil you more because you need to feel that nothing has changed and Mommy will be here always for you (not the Horrible One but the one with the halo). I need not to worry so much because you are my daughter- you will prevail. You will do what need to be done when the time comes. You have a lots of me and your dad in you (too bad you cannot choose your genes). You are after all, our warrior princess.

But would it hurt you to spend a little more time with you family (me!!!)?? You need to remember being at home in your room does not mean you are spending time with us.

XOXO
The Horrible Grumpy Mommy

PS We cannot fit everything in the trunk

Catch up

A long silence after a slew of postings......guess what? Life got in the way! I have been out there living my life as it should be instead of blogging. Not that I have not thought about blogging. I often found myself thinking in the midst of a event or moment, okay I will blog about this.... a fleeting thought because now I do not remember what it is I wanted to blog! I have learned not to agonize over this lost moments.....

Okay, since last posting. Chinese New Year has come and gone. I did cook some marvelous meals which I cannot remember offhand and which would require considerable effort to pluck out of my aging grey cells. I realized that I cannot keep cooking great meals 2 weeks in a row!! I think 3 days in a row, maybe 4 is achievable but beyond that, it is just no more fun. That is what the Chinese New Year blogging effort revealed. I did enjoy the effort (as did my family). Getting the flu and allergies to the Santa Ana stopped me in my track. Dear husband said I have been down for 2 months... I think that is an exaggeration....Getting better and then going into the rain and cold to catch my children play their sports did not allow me to fully recover but hey, I was there living my life.

Okay, quick run through. We enjoyed son A's second Lacrosse tournament with La Jolla Country Day School- he was spectacular. He started the tournament with a goal right off from face off and scored within 50 seconds! He scored 3 goals in all within 10 minutes off the game. What a start to the tournament!! Yesterday he started with the South Bay Outlaws. He is hoping to make Team A although he is a first year player. I think he has a shot at it. They will be competing against Middle School Teams across San Diego.

Daughter L is getting anxious for those college letters. The other days she said that she wishes they will come already- even if they are rejection letter!!! Ha, ha talking about anxious.Those letters should come in March or April. She has done interviews with Princeton, Havard and and phone interview with Brown. Today, her high school soccer team goes to the 1st round of CIF playoff!! Keep your fingers crossed. After that she will jump right into Lacrosse. For the first time this year, we may have to make some decisions if son A's and daughter L's Lax games conflict!! But that is a wonderful dilemma.

Now that the weather is nicer, husband is back biking. He is out there biking even as I blog right now. He has lost a fair bit of weight and it a lot fitter than he has been in a long time. Your truly? Not so hot! I weigh the same but flab instead of fab :( Getting back into it even as the weather is getting better.

I made persimmon pudding from the persimmon from our garden. Made Kumquart Marmalade form the Kumquart. What else? I spent 3 days ( and still ongoing) organizing my pantry, inside and outside. We have even groceries to run one of those grocery store they have at the back of residential houses in Malaysia. Sisters do you remember them? The one at the back of the house when we lived in Meru? Anyway, warned husband we are not allowed to buy any Indian groceries except for fresh food- tons, and I mean tons of curry spice paste mixes. 3 bottles of Thai fish sauce? Threw out open bottle and open a new one. Then there is my Chinese/ Malaysian stuff - not so much but more than adequate. Do not have stuff for Chinese soups - something I had not done much off but is on my list. Everything is being stored in containers, labeled and sorted. Shelves are being labeled. Still there are those that do not fall into a category so..... drives me insane. I throw them into the pantry and close the door!!! What would you do????

Oh yes, I knitted a cute little cotton sweater for my nephew M- he looks so adorable in it. The cheek of his mother C, asking me to make a sweater for her - sort of mommy and me. I have only enough attention span to make a baby size sweater.

Happy 18th Birthday Daughter

Yesterday my beloved daughter turned 18 !!( January 6 ) It was a beautiful momentous moment. I have been truly blessed with a loving, caring and intelligent child who has made being a mother a fulfilling experience. I smile when I think of the number of friends who were motivated to start a family because of her as a baby - a happy, interactive and easy to care for and mother. I warned them that not all babies are like my baby but...... Even this week when I spoke to a teacher of hers who is presently pregnant, she commented that if her baby was like daughter L who is an angel she would be really blessed. Ha, ha, I tried to tell the teacher that she is not always angle like! Whatever flaws daughter has, they are eclipsed by her good heart, her strong sense of self and family, and the fact that she is a special part of me.

Happy Birthday Baby! I handed down to her the gold bangle my mother gave me when I was 18. Hopefully one day she will be blessed with a daughter she can hand it down to. Something new was a long strand a green colored freshwater pearls, which she can wear long or loop into multi strands or even wear as choker. Whatever style a fashionable teenager can think up. Green has been her favorite color the past couple of years (and mine too!). Maybe this will be a tradition of passing down family jewelry with an addition of something new.

As stars aligned, she was playing in a soccer match for her high school on her birthday. She was wearing her number 18 jersey. How apt! The school district is making a documentary on the International Baccalaureate Program and choose to film daughter L as she is the only IB candidate that is playing sport this season! So the cameraman was on the field filming her during the soccer game. All this on her birthday!!

At daughter L's request, I made a whole mess of spaghetti and meatballs for her team as a treat. Not! It was a tray of cupcakes disguised as spaghetti and meatballs.(Check out posting for that) She was happy that her team enjoyed them.



After daughter L cleaned up and dressed up as girly girl (versus scruffy soccer player) we headed out to dinner at the new Mr.Dumpling restaurant in Convey. We ordered a hot pot dinner and had noodles for her birthday.

I tucked my baby in bed last night, under her million layers of comforters. Once my baby , always my baby. Happy Birthday MY

My Young Man

Been sitting in Son A's Martial Art Studio classes more often these days. His class schedule changed recently, so that he now goes every night for about an hour. With the price of gas, it just does not make sense to drive back and forth within the hour. So, I sit. Read a book or magazine. Do a bit of work.

And I look up. Often. When I hear grunts, cheers or sound of punches raining on somebody! Is it my son? I am amazed at him. He is really quite good at Muay Thai and also at Jujitsu. He is more often than not the youngest in the class and he more than holds his own. It is totally mind blogging to see him lift and carry his training partner for the day, normally a person of approximately his weight across the studio. And do this repeatedly. Of course, I worry that he is going to hurt himself. I am in awe! The strength of my baby. He is able to lift and carry his own weight. The prowess of youth.

I watch with pride as he spars with kids older than him, college age and young adults. He has improved so much in the last 2 years since becoming a Black Belt holder. He is faster, stronger and more skillful. His Sensei was commenting tha other night about how fast and hard his punches and kicks are these days. Son A takes a private training session with the Sensei once a week. It has really help him hone his skills. The Sensei watches him during regular classes and gets excited when he see Son A sparring, using techniques he just taught him. He is beaming with pride when Son A wins or does well against an opponent. He was just saying he wishes his son would want to train as much as Son A. The other day, Sensei tells Son A he is prodigy #2. Prodigy#1 is an older college aged young man who is skillfull and currently the lead instructor aside from Sensei. Son A hopes to be a paid instructor once he reaches 16.

Me. I am proud. But... sometimes I wonder if I'll have to someday rush him to the emergency room because of an injury. So far, so good. He is careful and not boastful. That helps because if you think you are invincible, that when you get hurt. Oh, don't get me wrong, he knows he is good. He is confident and he goes out there to prove it over and over again. But, he knows his opponents. He knows who has a temper, who has something to prove......

I am also filled with pride when he leads classes. It is still so amazing to me to see him at the front of the class. Where is my little boy who used to be trying to wing it,among the crowd of the class? He is now particular about his form and doing his best. He is a young man,My Young Man.

I better post this already. Been thinking I wanted to take pictures of him in action. That is pictures that shows him in action without actually showing him! Yes, still have that hang up. Keep forgetting my camera so....... IT is posted.

Dream Catcher

Son A has been working hard at school. We are so proud of him. It is wonderful to see him so motivated and driven to do well in school. That is not to say that he is `perfect'. Dear boy, still has his lapses. Only these days, he kicks himself for it versus me `kicking' him! Middle school has brought such a maturity to him that makes me beam with pride and tear up. Yeh, I am a sappy Mom especially at a time in a boy's life he needs his mother to have a little dignity and restraint! And did I tell you how cute he looks? Especially so, in button down shirts and polos. I am not surprise that he gets the attention he does from the girls!

Week 2 of school has ended. Each day, when I pick him up from school, he gets into the car and say, "Mom, I have great news", or "Mom, I have bad news". Or, if there is no exceptional news, I have to ask him how his day was. This week I was greeted with two "Mom, I have great news" events. He rummages through his backpack for the paper that shows his `great' work. Often, this is preempted by me saying I wish he would keep his paper neatly and not dog eared. Anyway, I digress. Happy event 1 - He tested great in Math, achieving mastery levels in all levels of this Math/ Algebra curriculum.Event 2- He tested Reading and Comprehension at post high school level!!! He was ecstatic, especially since I am always asking him to read, and read a wide range of genres. He reads Mad magazine and Lat , for God sake! Ha, ha, we are all so proud of him. He, happily relates this to his sister who then tells him she tested out at 4th grade to be post high school level and then they stop testing her in elementary school!! Not even that comment could take away the pride he had in his testing. Never mind how Che Che did, he is doing okay by himself. But it did start him thinking on the reading level of high school kids....

In any event, Son A, appears to be doing well in all classes with the exception of US History. The first test was on US state capitals, which my dear son thought would be a snap, since he already learn that in 5 grade. Well, as you can predict, he did not do so well.... He says he remembers the state capital if given a map. He is able to put down the state capital and the name of the respective state. He was not able to answer a straight question. What is the capital of______? Imagine that! I told him he needed to know his subject thoroughly and be able to answer the questions which ever direction they took. Besides, if you can actually place on the map, the state and it capital city, you really know the stuff. Straight questions capital to state should be a done deal. Guess not. He must be a very visual kid.
Here's where the Dream Catcher comes in. In order to raise his scores, he has opted to take on extra credit work. He comes to me and ask if I could help him weave Native American baskets??? Yeh, right! No, I said, I cannot. Besides where will we find the reefs needed? So he researches and come back with the idea of Dream Catchers and has his teacher approves the project. He comes home from school on Friday and asks me to help him with the project. He researches online and gets instruction on how to make a Dream Catcher and presents it to me. Okay, he needs dried grapevines. I send him into our garden to look for it. We have only green vines. I was not about to make another trip across town to buy a dried wreath for the project (at least not if I could help it). So, I go out to the garden and we find some dried raspberry stems. We soaked them and fashion a wreath out of it. I started the first rows for him and he finished the weaving and stringing the bead on the Dream Catcher. Lastly, we tied a bunch of feathers to complete the project. Not too shabby, even if we do say so ourselves.

With this Dream Catcher, Son A, hopes to capture back his grades. One can only applaude him for his effort and persistence.

Ugly Betty (L) / Captain H

It was only the second week of school and my poor daughter (L) already had a beauty of a bruise on her leg. I tried to take picture of it but it so ugly that the camera would not take a shot!! The lighting and angle just made it difficult, the camera would not focus or when it did it just refuse to click and lock the shot. L was laughing none stop. I told her the bruise was so ugly it broke my camera!!The picture just does not do it justice. It is ugly, yellow, purple, green and so, so big.

Dear daughter was cleated at a soccer scrimmage. Needless to say, her Field Hockey coaches gave her a hard 0f time about it! Everyone had a good laugh at her expense. Ha, ha she kept knocking into it with her graceful movements so there were many moments of *#!#&*.

Never mind, the beautiful `personal tattoo' that she spots with her cute short Field Hockey Skirt.

Not if you are sporting on this band on your arms.Yeh, my baby is Field Hockey Captain. So proud of my warrior daughter who wears the battle scars of her games!! GO BABY!

I Am The Go To Girl !

When my friends ask me who I go to for advice, I say me. I am the total package, and my mommy. My mommy is my Go To Girl. Thus said my daughter to me. Shucks.... I am blushing. I love you too babe

Parenthood

As I sit here at my computer, I am thinking about my siblings. A brother who is experiencing fatherhood for the first time in his forties, a sister who has a brood ( I exaggerate - just 3) of children ranging from kindergarten to a new teenager and my youngest sister a recent induct into baby boot camp! Been there, done that, still doing it. Do I have any advice for you????

I do not know about advice but I can perhaps share my feeling, hindsight. Nobody told me that I would love my kids so much, what I would do for them, how far I would go for them.This was not how I imagine motherhood in my twenties. Actually, I don't think I even imagine motherhood. Which lead to my mother and others thinking I did not like children!! I just was not ready to be a mother. I had a great career and a wonderful husband who was equally driven career wise. We just wanted our time together. It would be six years into our marriage and a continent away before we would start our family and begin our love affair with our children.

Like I said, I did not put much thought into motherhood. Yes, I wanted children at the right time.I would be a good mother- nuture, feed and cloth them, piano lesson etc. No further thoughts beyond that. Like my dad said, children are like "ubi kayu" ( sweet potatoes)- stick them in the ground and they will grow. It seemed like that was how we grew up.... ( he did do more. both my parents did. They greatly influenced my life- more about that in later postings). I think they were busy providing for the four of us. As long as we were happy they were happy parents. What more is there, then making sure that your children are well adjusted and happy. Both teachers, they always made sure that one of them would be home with us.

To me, parenthood was to be a natural progression in life not a driving force in my life. I never imagine that my career would take a back seat to parenting. I don't think many who knew me back then would have imagine this life I now lead. But then, I think I was one of the earliest in my class to get married at 25.( I know 25 is not real early but I married at the earliest age among my siblings too) It just felt right and it is- will celebrate my 25 wedding anniversary in 2010!

A dear friend told me recently how devoted and dedicated a mother I am. I never looked at it that way. It naturally evolved. My children made it so easy, I am truly blessed. My daughter who inspired many friends to start families because she was so "easy" to take care of and so loving. She made them think "we can do this". My son, the irrepressible rascal with the big heart. I thank my dear husband for enabling me to be to scale back work and be able to enjoy our lives together and be the mother I am ( and hopefully a good wife!).A wonderful partner and support. I appreciate it even more so these days, as I count down the days we have with my eldest, a daughter, senior year in high school.This time, next year we will be packing her off to college.Imagine that!! I am amazed at how my son is growing up- a wonderful young man, full of life, energy and passion. A wonderful heart. It is incredible how he `grew up' right in front of my eye as he moved from elementary school to middle school last year.

So I am thinking maybe I can share some of my parenting experience. My brother - you are lagging behind but at least you are in the race!! (ha, ha) I mean game of parenting. Second sister ( salutation for the benefit of the youngest sister), you are not far behind. We both have teenagers of the same age.Little youngest sister - the newest entry - welcome to parenthood.

And maybe it will help others -how it differs from my and maybe your upbringing. Especially for those of us born in the East and now living in the West. Each step of our children lives especially in school had been new to us - we had to find out what to do. Maybe it can benefit some of you out there.

Heard from the back of the car.....

"Grandpa loved me best of all", said my son. "Are you sure?", retorted his sister. "He loved me first before you were even a thought in my mind". You see, she had asked for her brother. " Did he take you on train rides?" he asks."Yes, he did". "Well, he was thinking there will be another and HE WILL BE A GREAT ONE" said the rascal!

Children, your Grandpa loved both of you equally but in different yet same way (ha, ha that's Mama mumbo jumbo talk) But I hate to break it to you all, Grandpa LOVE MOMMY BEST OF ALL! I was his first born.

THE END.........