Friday, May 1, 2009

Birthday Reflections

Where do I begin....? Intense life moments have held my life captive since my last posting. Many, many things to share but where to begin.... who am I talking to? The purpose of this blog is constanly evolving. It started out as a personal journal. As with my physical journals I failed to `journal', leaving huge gaps. Then I censor stuff, "soft focus" events or feelings. Why, when it is not really a public blog but for myself, family and a select number of friends? Not much of a personal journal to reflect upon in my twilight years. Then my sister ask if she could link my blog to a project she is working with her group of friends ,namely mothers with young kids. I said sure, why not. I think that is the real truth, I believe I have something to contribute. I really do. Motherhood has been wonderful and continues to be a wonderful experience for me. I have been through so many , " and why did you not tell me about it?" moments. Now, I just have to contribute. I will try my sister C.

Since the last posting, I have celebrated my 49th birthday. In a quiet serene contented way. No big celebration, just the way I like it. Time with family, pottering in my garden and watching my daughter and son at their Lacrosse games and my husband readying himself for the big climb Mt.Kinabalu in July. They are spectacular!! I am a very proud mama. I often reflect on how truly blessed I am to have these two beautiful, intelligent and loving kids. They are very active and competitive in sports and studies. That is why they can take a competitive mother like me!! I admit I do push them but only in the things they love and when they need that push over the `hump or funk' they are going through.

My husband is good to me. Sappy? Yeh, but he lets me be me. He works hard so that I can play, he says. Our constant separation due to his bi-coastal travel for work never gets easier for either of us but we focus on why we are doing it. Cell phones and web cam makes keepign in contact so much nicer. Getting each of us an iphone last summer was the best investment we have made..... and unlimited texting. Constant texting between family members keep us up to date with the latest and greatest in our lives, in the moment!

How close are we, dear husband and I? I was pottering in my kitchen garden,(last year's birthday present from my husband that continues to give me so much joy) reflecting and laughing to myself.....thinking to myself that my husband will say I am playing in my sand box. He made that comment to me last year that watching me pottering in my garden is like watching a kid in the sand box.... engrossed and contented, never wanting to leave it until called, and even then......I do not know why that thought just pop into my head. A few minutes later, he walks up the garden with a cup of coffee for me and say, " I am glad your enjoying yourself in your sand box. It makes me happy." Sappy! That is marriage.

He await for me to design my front yard redo for this year's gift. We are going to tear out the front lawn and grow a water thrifty garden. I am thinking of olive trees - cannot decide whether I want fruiting olives or non fruiting olives. I have to have a use for the olive or the fruit drop and birds will be a problem. Below them I want beautiful kangaroo paws, New Zealand flax, salvias and succulents. We want to do our part to cut down water consumption.

So as I move forward to the legendary 50th birthday I am contented. Life is changing. My beautiful daughter is leaving for college.....she is striking out. We will be physically and family of three, most times but always a family of four in spirit. My son will go on to high school. Husband and I will work towards our retirement career.

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