I pinch you and you pinch me

"I pinch you and you pinch me, okay?" Such were the words I uttered to my daughter L as we prepared to leave her at college. No tears seem to have moistured our eyes, the cold hearted women that we are. "Maybe then we will cry?" Does that mean I love you less? We watched as her roommate and her mom teared up at dinner even before they parted. No tears for us then. Outside her dorm building when we said goodbye, our friends cried again. Still no tears. Maybe, at that point we knew we still had breakfast the next morning.....

The next day, final Au revior. Finally some moisture in daughter's eyes! She regrets lining her eyes before we said Au revior. Did the eyeliner irritate her eyes or was it emotions? Me... dry as a desert. I know, I know.....Her brother- did not want a goodbye hug. She hugs him anyway and he is sad....she is sad. The Father hugs his daughter long and tight. Finally, we hug and kiss each other and tell the other," I love you". Goodbye/ Au revoir.

On the long drive back, brother does a L - sleeps to shutdown unpleasant thoughts. Husband and I talk about the whole experience and wonder how she is doing. We text her and she us. Suddenly, a pebble hits in windshield! A ping and a tiny deep dent. As we try to get a closer view of it, the crack lengthens in front of our eyes! Called insurance company and arrange for replacement windshield. Trip is costing an additional $250 for the deductible! Hidden cost of college!

Even now at home, it is surreal. I guess it will hit me when it it hits me. My baby is gone. The one who would not go to away camp is now far away. Okay, not that far. I guess it is because I am confident my girl will be able to handle most things that come her way. She will know when to ask for help. It is reassuring that she is rooming with her bestfriend and they will take care of each other. It helped that we were able to move her into her dorm and set her up. Her floormates seem nice. I am so happy she has a nice room and an even nicer view! Her dorm overlooks the sports field. While we were there , all day long there were one sport team or another practising. Such healthy living and eye candy for sure!! ha, ha- that can only be a bonus.

Daughter, if you are reading this. I love you even though there are no tears. I am excited for you. I am here for you. I am crying somewhere inside.... really I have to be.